Getting married is easy. Staying married is really tough. Jaimie and I have been married for 23-years. I wish I could tell you that it has been a fairy tale story full of bliss, adventure, and romance; but that would be a lie. Now to be clear, there have been mountain top experiences that were full of joy, adventure, and romance. These have been amazingly breathtaking moments. However, these pinnacle moments have been intertwined with valleys of conflict, miscommunication, and hurt.
Throughout our two decades together, we have been fortunate to have older, wiser couples speak truth into our marriage. One of the many lessons that we learned was the importance of dating our spouse. As young marrieds, this was challenging because we did not have a lot of money. As time went on and we started having children, the new challenge was we were increasingly busy or did not have childcare.
At the 9-year mark, we moved back to our hometown and our mother’s stepped in. Both blessed us at different times with watching our kids. This eliminated many of our excuses. We also learned we did not need to go out to have a great date with each other. Tuck the kids into bed early, make up a charcuterie board, and put on a movie.
The discipline of dating created time and space where we could focus on our marriage and ignore, if only for a moment, all the other roles and responsibilities of life. And this time has allowed us to be better in all our other roles.
Now, full disclosure, not every date is dynamite. In fact, I would estimate only 25% of our dates would rate as being amazing. However, the discipline of dating each other on a regular basis created more opportunity for dynamite dates.
Call to Action – Get out there and date your spouse. Stay home, go out, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we make our marriages a priority.
Chris & Jaimie